shifting the way we connect socially, awkwardness and how to deal with that feeling

Sobriety can change the way we connect, and that’s not a bad thing. In this post, we explore why those first moments might feel a bit awkward, and how to move through them with confidence, presence, and ease.

feeling shy? you are not alone.

Not everyone is ready to walk into a room ready to chat to strangers or dance like it’s 3am at a festival without a drink in their hands. And that’s completely fine.

At our events, we’ve seen how people arrive unsure, maybe a bit quiet, watching the room. There’s this idea that if you're not speaking loud or moving wildly, you're not enjoying yourself. But that’s not the case.

The truth is, we’ve spent years socialising with alcohol or other substances, starting at the early age. It’s what most spaces are built around, bars, clubs, even after-work catch-ups. We’ve been taught that we need a drink to loosen up. That we need something to take the edge off before we can really be ourselves. So of course, when that layer is removed, things can feel a little awkward at first.

But that awkwardness? It’s not a sign that something’s wrong. It’s just unfamiliar. Socialising with alcohol might be the most common way, but unfortunately not the most natural.

What we’ve found at Waveflow is that once people realise they don’t need a drink or an excuse to connect, something shifts. People are there for the music, the energy, the shared experience, and often, just to get lost in the sound.

It might look different from the outside, but most people are fully locked in. Listening, moving & fully present, without any distractions.

And here’s the thing: these moments, where you feel a bit unsure, a bit on the edge, are the perfect ones to build something real. They’re an opportunity to train natural confidence, to show up as yourself, and learn how to connect without leaning on anything external. It’s uncomfortable at times, sure, but it’s how growth happens.

start simple

If you’re looking to feel more connected, start simple.

• Introduce yourself. Say hi. Ask what brought someone here.

• Ask how they’re finding the music or if they’ve seen the artist before. Music connects all of us and it’s the perfect ice breaker. Most people are more open than they seem, and they’re probably just waiting for someone to go first.

• If you’re not comfortable with eye contact at first, sunglasses can be a great way to help you feel a bit more protected and ease into the experience.

focus on your senses

• Pick one, like sound or sight, and tune into it fully. Notice the textures around you, the rhythm of the music, the warmth of the room, or even the way your feet feel on the ground. This brings you into your body and out of your thoughts. If you feel awkward or anxious, remember: you're not alone. Most people are too focused on themselves to notice your nerves.

• Don’t be shy to express the emotions that the music brings up in you. If a moment moves you, let it out. Clap, shout, close your eyes, do the silly dance, whatever feels right. That kind of release is beautiful, and it’s what these spaces are for.

Learning to be yourself, fully, without anything in between, is a real part of self-growth. It takes practice. But over time, it gets easier. And what you gain is genuine connection and confidence on yourself.

sober sunday nº4 with vera, trixie & josh kept